663. Ms Olivia Hewson - Nursing - OET - Writing - QualityCheck - Sonia Wilson - Punjab - India

Updated: Mar 1, 2021

 
 

663. Sonia Wilson - Nurse - Punjab - India

Mrs Olivia Hewson - Case Notes - Nursing - Writing

Registered - Regular Student - GrandMasterClass

 

Original Manuscript... Page... 1 ...

 
 

Original Manuscript... Page... 2 ...

 
 

Original Electronic Type Version ....

 

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Personalised Feedback ... Page... 1 ...

 
 

Personalised Feedback ... Page... 2

 
 

Special Suggestions for Quality Enhancement ...

 

1. Where is "today's date"?

2. Dear Sir / Madam,

3. I am writing to request respite care for Mrs Olivia Hewson...

4. and has two children

(Wrong organisation. This is not the way to structure your letter)

5. Do not use the word "suffer" as it has a mildly negative resonance.

6. "Moreover, Furthermore " too many connectives in a row.

7. She is on a low fiber diet

8. "That also start" Ungrammatical. Illegible too.

9. "Even though". Another unnecessary connective.

10. "She gone through a surgery called laprotomy" Wrong grammar, wrong use of "called"

11. She is expected to survive only for three to four months

12. and has to look after

13. to assess

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