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695. Ms Amy Vineyard - Nursing - OET - Writing - QualityCheck - Anmolpreet Kaur - Amritsar - India

 
 

695. Ms Amy Vineyard - Nurse -Amritsar - India

Anmolpreet Kaur - Case Notes - Nursing - Writing

Registered - Regular Student - GrandMasterClass

 

Original Manuscript... Page... 1 ...

 
 

Original Manuscript... Page... 2 ...

 
 

Original Electronic Type Version ....

 

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Personalised Feedback ... Page... 1 ...

 
 

Personalised Feedback ... Page... 2

 
 

Special Suggestions for Quality Enhancement ...

 

1. Iam writing regarding.. (leave out "this letter". That is obvious even when you don't specifically mention it.)


2. ...a six-week-pregnant young woman..


3. Is this actually a "diagnosis"? Or did she report she uses recreational drugs?


4. ...being discharged today and requires..


5. throughout her pregnancy


6. and has no contact with her parents


7. She has a history of suicidal thoughts..


8. She has never consulted a psychiatrist.


9. Apart from this, she smokes 30 to 40 cigarettes a day


10. Leave out "fortunately"


11. She wishes to cease or reduse her substance abuse and alcohol consumption.


12. Avoid the term "patient"


13. ...she has been counselled regarding...


14. Remove "the"


15. Her first trimester ultrasound is due at 12 weeks

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